top 15 Southern Baptist Sins

An acquaintance of mine (Joe Perdue) posted this in his facebook notes and I thought twas nifty. Enjoy.

As we all know part of being a Southern Baptist means living a holy life. The way to living a holy life is to adopt as many rules as possible and live your life according to them, like a daily checklist. At the end of the day, if a Southern Baptist can check off more “good” things from the list than “bad” things, then he or she can take comfort in the fact that Jesus is happy…for now. We all know the Bible has some good rules in it, but it doesn’t go far enough. In order to live a truly Christ-pleasing life Southern Baptists must follow extra-Biblical rules that we all know are right. I am taking the time to write this in order to countdown the top extra-Biblical Southern Baptist Sins. While no one really knows what the unpardonable sin is, the top five are good candidates.


15. Smoking
14. Listening to secular music.
13. Being a Calvinist
12. Not being a Calvinist
11. Having a piercing (men) or a tattoo (both genders)
10. Having sex for reasons other than procreation
9. Watching movies that are rated “R”
8. Making fun of godly leaders such as James Dobson and Page Patterson (aka Jesus Jr.)
7. Becoming too friendly with a “lost” person.
6. Being nice to a homosexual
5. Not voting for the Republican Canidate in the last election (Southern Baptists may be excused if they wrote in James Dobson or Jesus)
4. Allowing a woman to study/teach the Bible (in 2000 the SBC voted to use this to replace the old sin “teaching women to read”)
3. Attending a church where someone plays a guitar or where the church makes use of technology.
2. Being divorced, being related to a divorced person, or knowing a divorced person.
1. Drinking